Choose trust, closeness and commitment · S9.4

Look for a realistic possibility in a relationship

A frustrating pattern makes it hard to see whether anything could change.

Everyday practice

Try these steps

1. Describe the pattern and its effects without minimizing them.
2. Identify one change that would make a difference and any evidence that it is possible.
3. Choose a limited request or trial, or recognize that there is not enough basis to pursue it now.

An example

We often miss each other's calls. We could try agreeing on a time, if we both want to.

Reflect

What evidence supports hope, and what limits still matter?

Next time

Judge the trial by what happens rather than by how optimistic you feel.