Name a feeling or a current need · S9.3

Connect an emotion with what matters

An interaction brought up a feeling you do not fully understand.

Everyday practice

Try these steps

1. Name the feeling as precisely as you can, allowing more than one or 'unsure.'
2. Ask what mattered to you in the situation: fairness, belonging, independence, reliability, or something else.
3. State the connection tentatively and check it against the facts. If speaking with someone, ask how they understood the situation.

An example

I felt disappointed when the plan changed; reliability may be what mattered to me.

Reflect

Does the value explain part of the feeling, or is another explanation needed?

Next time

Use the insight to make a specific request rather than assuming others know the value.