Respond fairly to a mistake or setback · S1.7

Respond to yourself after a mistake

You are criticizing yourself and want to try language that is fair without dismissing what happened.

Everyday practice

Try these steps

1. Write the criticism as a sentence, or notice it privately if writing it down would be unhelpful.
2. Separate the event from the judgment about your whole character. Name any impact or responsibility you want to acknowledge.
3. Write a response that includes both honesty and support: what happened, what you need, and one possible next step.

An example

I interrupted them. That may have been frustrating. I can acknowledge it and make room for them to finish.

Reflect

Does the response sound believable to you? What feels too harsh or too reassuring?

Next time

Use your own words; you do not need to feel compassion immediately for a fairer response to be worth considering.