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Say no and define a boundary · D3.11

Keep fairness and self-respect in a difficult reply

You are tempted to agree, exaggerate, or apologize for a legitimate need.

Everyday practice

Try these steps

  1. State the facts and your need honestly, without exaggerating the problem.
  2. Check that you are applying a fair standard to yourself and the other person.
  3. Give any apology that is actually warranted while keeping your boundary or request intact.

An example

I am sorry I gave late notice. I still cannot take on the additional work this week.

Reflect

Did you remain truthful and fair without apologizing for having a need?

Next time

Use the same standard in the next exchange rather than escalating to defend your worth.

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