Listen and check understanding · D5.4

Check whether you have understood a feeling

You notice a possible feeling in someone else and want to avoid assuming you know it.

Everyday practice

Try these steps

1. Describe what you heard or observed without assigning a motive.
2. Offer a tentative understanding and ask whether it fits.
3. Listen to the correction and ask what response, if any, they would prefer.

An example

You said the meeting was draining. Are you frustrated, tired, or is that not quite it?

Reflect

Did checking change your understanding?

Next time

Let the person name their experience; you do not need to read it correctly on the first attempt.